I am not a long distance relationship advocate but sometimes thing just happen that way that we can't control what life will throw at us, hence the posting of this article on making long distance relationship work, enjoy the excerpt but learn the lessons and take them to heart;
The way people move around these days more and more of us are looking for long distance relationship advice. Here are 3 key tips from both my personal experience and my research that will help your relationship survive over a distance.
The first thing you and your partner need to do is to be clear on just what the parameters of the relationship are and to what degree are you committed to each other? Obviously there's a big difference in a relationship that's a few weeks old and one that has been exclusive for over a year.
How long do you expect the separation to last? How often will it be practical to see each other? Are you at a stage in your commitment where you both won't date other people, or is that OK with you both?
Some of these questions, especially about dating others, may be a little awkward, but they need to be addressed up-front. Doing so will prevent misunderstandings and heartbreak later.
Besides, any good relationship should be built on understanding and communication. Having that conversation will build those skills.
The next thing needed to form a solid foundation is to develop a positive attitude about the separation. That's not to say you'll look forward to it or prefer that your partner is away, but it does mean you'll make the most of the situation you're in.
When we're involved in a close relationship, most of us let other interests, such as hobbies and other friends, slide a little bit. The time away from your partner is a good opportunity to pay more attention to these other areas.
Some people use it as an opportunity to put more effort into their studies or career.
Another positive way of looking at the situation is that it will give you the opportunity to be creative in maintaining it, which brings me to the third key tip.
Take advantage of modern technology while continuing to use the old.
The traditional method for separated lovers to communicate was the written word. Later the telephone came along. Today, as you well know, there are a lot more options. By all means take advantage of texting and web cams, but remember that nothing will ever replace the romance of a love letter. Writing your sweetie regularly, even you text several times a day and see each other on Skype every night, will help your relationship greatly dring your time apart.
Let's face it, a big fear we all have when we're separated form our lover is that the romance will fade for the relationship or that we'll grow apart or that one person or the other will find someone else. It doesn't have to be that way, but we can't take it for granted that it won't. These three keys are a good start.The first thing you and your partner need to do is to be clear on just what the parameters of the relationship are and to what degree are you committed to each other? Obviously there's a big difference in a relationship that's a few weeks old and one that has been exclusive for over a year.
How long do you expect the separation to last? How often will it be practical to see each other? Are you at a stage in your commitment where you both won't date other people, or is that OK with you both?
Some of these questions, especially about dating others, may be a little awkward, but they need to be addressed up-front. Doing so will prevent misunderstandings and heartbreak later.
Besides, any good relationship should be built on understanding and communication. Having that conversation will build those skills.
The next thing needed to form a solid foundation is to develop a positive attitude about the separation. That's not to say you'll look forward to it or prefer that your partner is away, but it does mean you'll make the most of the situation you're in.
When we're involved in a close relationship, most of us let other interests, such as hobbies and other friends, slide a little bit. The time away from your partner is a good opportunity to pay more attention to these other areas.
Some people use it as an opportunity to put more effort into their studies or career.
Another positive way of looking at the situation is that it will give you the opportunity to be creative in maintaining it, which brings me to the third key tip.
Take advantage of modern technology while continuing to use the old.
The traditional method for separated lovers to communicate was the written word. Later the telephone came along. Today, as you well know, there are a lot more options. By all means take advantage of texting and web cams, but remember that nothing will ever replace the romance of a love letter. Writing your sweetie regularly, even you text several times a day and see each other on Skype every night, will help your relationship greatly dring your time apart.
By Sandra Williamson.
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